Are you angry about something? Even just slightly irritated?
Well, I'm pretty pissed off that I can't keep a steady volume of entertaining rants for ya'll, so I'm taking guest posts and feedback about what's pissing you off!
Submit your abstracts by emailing jessicapenn@gmail.com and maybe your anger can be featured in this high impact blog.
I can't be the only one that hates everything. Can I?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
car alarms in urban settings
Car alarms in a city where people park on the street and aren't anywhere near their car piss me off!
I mean, you're parking your car on the street. You really gonna be able to hear your alarm go off and catch some punk breaking in? Do you really expect some good citizen to hear the alarm and think "oh no, a baddy's trying to steal somebody else's car! I should help prevent that, because I care and am not afraid of car thieves."
NO, that's just stupid.
When I hear your car alarm, I want to kill you because you obviously think that your stuff is more important than my quality of life.
And, I'm trying to watch CSI.
I mean, you're parking your car on the street. You really gonna be able to hear your alarm go off and catch some punk breaking in? Do you really expect some good citizen to hear the alarm and think "oh no, a baddy's trying to steal somebody else's car! I should help prevent that, because I care and am not afraid of car thieves."
NO, that's just stupid.
When I hear your car alarm, I want to kill you because you obviously think that your stuff is more important than my quality of life.
And, I'm trying to watch CSI.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
everything
Yup, pretty much everything (and nothing) has been pissing me off since I tore apart the house last night looking for my black sweater.
Why is that so infuriating!? I just wanted to wear a new dress with my comfy black sweater. Since I couldn't find the sweater, well, obviously, I no longer had anything to wear.
"Might as well go naked or never leave the house again" I sulked to myself, as I huffed and puffed, frantically dashing in between Daniel and his zombie game in search of the holy grail of wardrobes.
In my missing sweater-induced stress and irritation, I decided to give away half of my clothing,
I re-organized the desk area, cleaned the bathroom, took a 5 hour shower (in the dark), and laid in bed, still
seething.
Apparently, my relaxing staycation to NoCal was non-transferable.
Why is that so infuriating!? I just wanted to wear a new dress with my comfy black sweater. Since I couldn't find the sweater, well, obviously, I no longer had anything to wear.
"Might as well go naked or never leave the house again" I sulked to myself, as I huffed and puffed, frantically dashing in between Daniel and his zombie game in search of the holy grail of wardrobes.
In my missing sweater-induced stress and irritation, I decided to give away half of my clothing,
I re-organized the desk area, cleaned the bathroom, took a 5 hour shower (in the dark), and laid in bed, still
seething.
Apparently, my relaxing staycation to NoCal was non-transferable.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
daniel
Update 9:25 PM: Okay, well, I guess I should remove my foot from my mouth.
Daniel did indeed buy me something! Now I can:
Daniel Gading bought something for 284 dollars and 56 cents at Best Buy today and he won't tell me what it was and it's pissing me off.
WHAT DID HE BUY!?
Is it a surprise for me? Is it something he's ashamed of and he thinks I'll disapprove? Is he feeling guilty for spending nearly $300 on electronics when the cats should probably go have a check up at the vet sometime in the near future and money should be spent on their care?
WHY WON'T HE TELL ME!?
Daniel did indeed buy me something! Now I can:
Daniel Gading bought something for 284 dollars and 56 cents at Best Buy today and he won't tell me what it was and it's pissing me off.
WHAT DID HE BUY!?
Is it a surprise for me? Is it something he's ashamed of and he thinks I'll disapprove? Is he feeling guilty for spending nearly $300 on electronics when the cats should probably go have a check up at the vet sometime in the near future and money should be spent on their care?
WHY WON'T HE TELL ME!?
Sunday, September 4, 2011
facebook memes
92.6% of all Facebook meme status updates piss me off.
The whole bra color, where I like to keep my purse, and now the new "12 weeks and craving chocolate lava pie with chocoloate ganache" memes that are supposedly to help raise awareness about breast cancer are especially irritating to me.
Well, they're kinda cute and make people go "huh? is my friend pregnant!?" but it certainly doesn't make me want to encourage all my boob-blessed gal pals to feel themselves up in the shower or get mammograms.
You know what actually spreads breast cancer awareness? Seeing the reality of double masectomies, taking your friend to chemo treatments, actually educating people about breast cancer. Oh, and also, men get breast cancer, too. So keeping this little girly FB meme secret from the menfolk is just counterproductive for spreading awareness.
AND (where this post was supposed to be headed before I got off on a tangent about faux activism), the posts that are all like "I love America and Jesus and God and the troops and Sarah Palin, but I bet 95% of you won't stand up for your beliefs and repost this" really get my goat. Seriously, in the US, you think being a patriotic Christian makes you a minority and that you're the only one courageous enough to publicize your beliefs!?
C'mon, quit making a mockery of statistics, according to Pew only ~20% won't repost it!
The whole bra color, where I like to keep my purse, and now the new "12 weeks and craving chocolate lava pie with chocoloate ganache" memes that are supposedly to help raise awareness about breast cancer are especially irritating to me.
Well, they're kinda cute and make people go "huh? is my friend pregnant!?" but it certainly doesn't make me want to encourage all my boob-blessed gal pals to feel themselves up in the shower or get mammograms.
You know what actually spreads breast cancer awareness? Seeing the reality of double masectomies, taking your friend to chemo treatments, actually educating people about breast cancer. Oh, and also, men get breast cancer, too. So keeping this little girly FB meme secret from the menfolk is just counterproductive for spreading awareness.
AND (where this post was supposed to be headed before I got off on a tangent about faux activism), the posts that are all like "I love America and Jesus and God and the troops and Sarah Palin, but I bet 95% of you won't stand up for your beliefs and repost this" really get my goat. Seriously, in the US, you think being a patriotic Christian makes you a minority and that you're the only one courageous enough to publicize your beliefs!?
C'mon, quit making a mockery of statistics, according to Pew only ~20% won't repost it!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
obligatory vague passive-aggressive post
People who take out all their problems on others and manipulate them to get what they want and who write vaguely about how wronged they are without revealing what's actually going on, but obviously wanting other people to know they've been wronged and garner nosiness disguised as sympathy piss me off.
Gah! Some people, I just can't believe it. Well, what comes around goes around. They'll get what's coming to them. What a day.......
I hate to admit it, but women seem to be the primary perpetrators of manipulation. Men are experts at it too, though! It's really just a human thing to ignore your own faults and screw up other people you supposedly care about, but I don't get it.
If you're unhappy with your life, take some responsibility for your own emotions; don't be passive aggressive, don't get irritated with others, don't pretend it's all somebody else's fault! It's not. It's yours.
Geez, start a blog or something. I know I'm just done with it all.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
nothing much right now
Hate to disappoint my loyal pitchforked blog mob, but I'm not very pissed off today.
The head-shrinkin' crazy doc and Big Pharma got together and snuck some anti-anxiety meds into a snausage for me. So, I'm feeling more at ease.
The lack of road rage made the drive home from work quite dull, though.
But, just 'cause I'm not pissed, doesn't mean ya'll can't be. So get your peepers poppin' and your arms t-rexin' and creep around The Huffington Post. Liberal, conservative, religious, heathen, anti-vaxer, skeptic, Deepak Chopra haters, whatever! Huffpo's got enough angering articles for all!
The head-shrinkin' crazy doc and Big Pharma got together and snuck some anti-anxiety meds into a snausage for me. So, I'm feeling more at ease.
The lack of road rage made the drive home from work quite dull, though.
But, just 'cause I'm not pissed, doesn't mean ya'll can't be. So get your peepers poppin' and your arms t-rexin' and creep around The Huffington Post. Liberal, conservative, religious, heathen, anti-vaxer, skeptic, Deepak Chopra haters, whatever! Huffpo's got enough angering articles for all!
some other chick named jess is pissed off too
There's this other blogger whose name happens to be Jess and who is also pissed off. And frankly, it well, you know...
First of all, the name of her blog is nearly identical to mine.
Secondly, it's even on Blogger, not Wordpress or some other such thing.
Thirdly, she's ugly and her design layout is stupid, so I guess I'm okay there.
(No, I don't really think she's ugly and her design layout is okay).
Fourthly, the URL of her site makes no sense. It's partly in Spanish (que es), partly in southern (pissin), and partly in txt (2day). WTF?
Fifthly (Fively?), if you Google search for "what's pissing off Jess" you go straight to her blog and not mine. Hrrrmmmph.
Sixthly, I uh, I dunno... I'm not really upset, it's just quite coincidental. Maybe Jess and I could be friends.
Why don't you click on over to her blog and get her attention, eh?
First of all, the name of her blog is nearly identical to mine.
Secondly, it's even on Blogger, not Wordpress or some other such thing.
Thirdly, she's ugly and her design layout is stupid, so I guess I'm okay there.
(No, I don't really think she's ugly and her design layout is okay).
Fourthly, the URL of her site makes no sense. It's partly in Spanish (que es), partly in southern (pissin), and partly in txt (2day). WTF?
Fifthly (Fively?), if you Google search for "what's pissing off Jess" you go straight to her blog and not mine. Hrrrmmmph.
Sixthly, I uh, I dunno... I'm not really upset, it's just quite coincidental. Maybe Jess and I could be friends.
Why don't you click on over to her blog and get her attention, eh?
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
being hungry at non-normative meal times
It pisses me off when I get really hungry at an inappropriate time.
I try to plan my day around well-spaced meals, but if I'm hungry for lunch 2 hours after breakfast, what am I going to eat at actual lunch time? Or if I'm planning to go out to dinner, but am starving an hour and a half beforehand--do I just stay hungry and pig out at dinner or eat a small snack but still be sorta hungry or just eat dinner and ruin my dinner plans?
I try to plan my day around well-spaced meals, but if I'm hungry for lunch 2 hours after breakfast, what am I going to eat at actual lunch time? Or if I'm planning to go out to dinner, but am starving an hour and a half beforehand--do I just stay hungry and pig out at dinner or eat a small snack but still be sorta hungry or just eat dinner and ruin my dinner plans?
bear farms in china
The fact that it's freakin' 2011 and folks are just now calling shenanigans on this nonsense pisses me off.
No, pissed off is reserved for wet arms and HD sunglasses infomercials. The appropriate emotions are anger and sadness at this stupid display of inhumanity.
No, pissed off is reserved for wet arms and HD sunglasses infomercials. The appropriate emotions are anger and sadness at this stupid display of inhumanity.
Monday, August 29, 2011
parking spot hogs
People who decide to wait five minutes for the previous occupant to leave just to get a lower-level parking spot in the garage when there's like a million spots on the roof level and 10 cars trapped behind them piss me off. Really.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
washing dishes
When I wash dishes, which I'm just pissed off about from the get-go, my forearms get all wet and it pisses me off even more.
The water then runs down my forearms and onto my elbows. It then just drips all over my shirt, my feet, the floor, everywhere!! My hands are already pruney and sore from the scalding hot water. Maybe I should start wearing like those wrist sweat bands around my elbows when I wash dishes. I should probably also wear a helmet and some knee pads for when I inevitably slip on the wet floor.
I also hate it when I'm washing a plate and it slides out of my hands and crashes into the sink. Then Daniel's all worried and like "are you okay!?" and I'm all "yes I'm fine" between clenched teeth. Then I have to rewash the stupid plate because it just fell into the dirty sink water.
The water then runs down my forearms and onto my elbows. It then just drips all over my shirt, my feet, the floor, everywhere!! My hands are already pruney and sore from the scalding hot water. Maybe I should start wearing like those wrist sweat bands around my elbows when I wash dishes. I should probably also wear a helmet and some knee pads for when I inevitably slip on the wet floor.
I also hate it when I'm washing a plate and it slides out of my hands and crashes into the sink. Then Daniel's all worried and like "are you okay!?" and I'm all "yes I'm fine" between clenched teeth. Then I have to rewash the stupid plate because it just fell into the dirty sink water.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
nobody's commenting on my blog posts
You people who are silently reading this blog (AKA lurkers) are pissing me off.
Do you think I'm enjoying this? You think I'm ecstatic about getting pissed off at stupid random crap and then narcissistically ranting about it into the digital abyss?
Well, I'm not.
But I do this for you. For all of you.
So come on, get pissed! (Mom, the pink text is a link. Click it. Don't make me tell you again.)
Do you think I'm enjoying this? You think I'm ecstatic about getting pissed off at stupid random crap and then narcissistically ranting about it into the digital abyss?
Well, I'm not.
But I do this for you. For all of you.
So come on, get pissed! (Mom, the pink text is a link. Click it. Don't make me tell you again.)
Friday, August 26, 2011
picky and overly-critical dinner companions
People who only ever eat five things and loudly express disgust about whatever I'm eating piss me off.
Tonight I was eating a delicious veggie salad, innocently chomping on the crunchy green peppers, when I had a flashback to the "bell pepper incident" of 2000something. Here I was, nearly 2/3 of a decade later and I was reliving this intense moment of pure rage.
The setting was our typical college town Italian restaurant. This girl who was the pickiest eater I've ever known kept going on and on about how nasty the bell peppers on my pizza were...how can you eat that?... what does it taste like?...Bell peppers killed JFK.... I just think it's gross!... Really, what does it taste like?
After way more than I could take of this capsicum inquisition I snapped, loudly:
IT TASTES LIKE A F#%KING BELL PEPPER.
The evening got a bit awkward and I never spoke of it, until tonight.
Tonight I was eating a delicious veggie salad, innocently chomping on the crunchy green peppers, when I had a flashback to the "bell pepper incident" of 2000something. Here I was, nearly 2/3 of a decade later and I was reliving this intense moment of pure rage.
The setting was our typical college town Italian restaurant. This girl who was the pickiest eater I've ever known kept going on and on about how nasty the bell peppers on my pizza were...how can you eat that?... what does it taste like?...Bell peppers killed JFK.... I just think it's gross!... Really, what does it taste like?
After way more than I could take of this capsicum inquisition I snapped, loudly:
IT TASTES LIKE A F#%KING BELL PEPPER.
The evening got a bit awkward and I never spoke of it, until tonight.
it's kingsely, bitch
This dude posts videos of whatever's pissing him off and it's pissing me off.
He's much more hilarious than me. He's way more angrier (yes, more angrier) than me. He's also more adorable than me. He's got like 100,000,000,000,000 page views and there's just no way I can compete. He kinda reminds of of like Lewis Black, but gay, actually black, young, hilarious, and on the You Tubes.
You guys better not go watch all his videos, he's already overexposed.
He's much more hilarious than me. He's way more angrier (yes, more angrier) than me. He's also more adorable than me. He's got like 100,000,000,000,000 page views and there's just no way I can compete. He kinda reminds of of like Lewis Black, but gay, actually black, young, hilarious, and on the You Tubes.
You guys better not go watch all his videos, he's already overexposed.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
hd aviator sunglasses
This stupid commercial for these piece o'crap sunglasses that are only like $10 and enable Jersey Shore fans to stare directly into the sun pisses me off.
I actually watched the entire commercial last night, thinking:
"what the fuuhh...! Whaaa? HD sunglasses...I don't think that's how that works. Real life is pretty
much the highest definition possible, right? WTF!?"
Then it occurred to me that I could change the channel or turn off the TV or go to sleep or empty the litter box or drink the entire bottle JohnnieWalker that's been eyeing me from the shelf all night.
But, if I'd done all that, I wouldn't have been introduced to the store brand OJ Simpson.
I actually watched the entire commercial last night, thinking:
"what the fuuhh...! Whaaa? HD sunglasses...I don't think that's how that works. Real life is pretty
much the highest definition possible, right? WTF!?"
Then it occurred to me that I could change the channel or turn off the TV or go to sleep or empty the litter box or drink the entire bottle JohnnieWalker that's been eyeing me from the shelf all night.
But, if I'd done all that, I wouldn't have been introduced to the store brand OJ Simpson.
distracting housekeeping staff
Jose, the ever friendly but way too thorough housekeeper, keeps vacuuming the office like every day and it's pissing me off.
I freakin' closed my door because you were bugging me and I'm trying towatch The Daily Show work on my dissertation. And then you have the audacity to use your master key and just waltz in here with your noisy electrical broom!?
No way, Jose.
I freakin' closed my door because you were bugging me and I'm trying to
No way, Jose.
commercials for channels i'm already watching
Having to listen to commercials for ION Television: Positively Entertaining, while already watching the dang channel pisses me off.
I really don't want to listen to all the intricate plot lines and character analyses of Psych or Monk in between 10 minutes of Criminal Minds. I'm already watching you, you're one of only 3 decent digital broadcast channels I get; I'm going to continue watching, okay? Just calm down.
I just want to know if Garcia and Reid can create a GUI interface using visual basic to track down the unsub's IP address.
I really don't want to listen to all the intricate plot lines and character analyses of Psych or Monk in between 10 minutes of Criminal Minds. I'm already watching you, you're one of only 3 decent digital broadcast channels I get; I'm going to continue watching, okay? Just calm down.
I just want to know if Garcia and Reid can create a GUI interface using visual basic to track down the unsub's IP address.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
cell phone with free will
My stupid phone deciding not to ring when people call me really pisses me off.
Daniel's trying to call! I'm sure he has Important things to tell me: the cats did something cute, he's eating a salad, work is boring, something-- I dunno--I don't really ever listen to him.
You send me every text, every email, and every stupid FB notification. You're a PHONE. All you really ever have to do is ring.
Daniel's trying to call! I'm sure he has Important things to tell me: the cats did something cute, he's eating a salad, work is boring, something-- I dunno--I don't really ever listen to him.
You send me every text, every email, and every stupid FB notification. You're a PHONE. All you really ever have to do is ring.
blogger's astrological default
The box for "Show astrological sign" on my Blogger profile that was checked by default pisses me off.
Astrology is stupid. We shouldn't have to opt out of stupidity. If people want to be stupid, they should have to be the ones to opt in.
Astrology is stupid. We shouldn't have to opt out of stupidity. If people want to be stupid, they should have to be the ones to opt in.
lawless bicyclists
The spoiled SC kids who bike around campus really piss me off. If you bike on the sidewalk, don't expect me to get out of your way. If you decide to bike directly and unexpectedly perpendicular to my car, don't expect me not to hit you. You do not have some special bicycle force field that allows you to just bike around willy nilly in vehicular or pedestrian traffic.
*Edit: I just realized that you can't spell "manslaughter" without "laughter."
*Edit: I just realized that you can't spell "manslaughter" without "laughter."
why don't you blog about it?
Lately, I've been getting pissed off a LOT about little stupid things. I could reasonably blame a change in meds, chronic TMJ pain, low quality sleep, work stress, global climate change. But, really, it's probably all Michele Bachmann's fault. I mean, she's just freakin' crazy. Doesn't she piss you off, too?
Every time I mention something that's pissing me off, Daniel just tells me, Why don't you blog about it? "What's pissing Jessica off today?" I know he's just saying this to piss me off, but he has a point. Why should he have to suffer alone through all my justifiable tirades first world problems?
What's pissing you off?
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